Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Holly Hobbie

To all those of you who actually read my blog, sorry I have been such a slacker!

I've realized lately that I have no hobbies.  What are hobbies anyway?  Why do people invest so much time and effort into them?  I mean coin collecting?  Really.  I'm going to spend thousands of dollars on some old coins? Try again.  I could buy a really nice bag with that.  And birdwatching?  My arms get tired just thinking of holding up binoculars for hours.  Not to mention, I don't give a crap about birds. 

One of the stock questions you can count on being asked when dating someone is, "What do you like to do for fun?," or "What are your hobbies?"  My stock answer usually includes some variation of reading, going to the gym, shopping, hanging out with my friends, and anything to do with food (like cooking it. Or eating it.)  This is usually followed by a minute of silence and a slightly confused look.  "No, but what are your hobbies? You know, what do you do in your spare time?" Like the emphasis will change my answer. That's...what I do.  

Oh, wait.  Does shopping not count as a hobby?  And if not, why not?  At least if I spend money I have more to show for it than some old stamp or coin.  I think the confusion lies in other people's narrow definition of the word hobby.  According to those guys Merriam and Webster (who are experts, by the way) a hobby is anything one pursues outside of their regular occupation especially for relaxation.  All of the hobbies I mentioned fit this definition PERFECTLY, thank you.

Although this post was spurred by a recent conversation, it's root is in previous dating experiences with "super outdoor adventure guy" and "what are your passions guy".

Yes, my hobbies fit nicely with the dictionary definition, but to these hobby minded men, my answers were not satisfactory.  Outdoor guy (remember the guy with the vacuum lines?  Same guy.) was headed off every weekend to "canyoneer" or "backpack" some treacherous terrain.  It was clear that even though he could not stand up from a sitting position with out groaning old man style, these excursions made him feel all testosterone-ish and manly.  He would casually work into conversations how he had "summitted" some high altitude peak or another, and tell tales of sheer cliffs with no place to grip (however did he make it up!?).  I suppose these mentions would have impressed a more outdoor savvy girl than myself, but then, I prefer heels to hiking boots. So I told him, "I totally found Rockin Republic jeans for $80 at Nordstrom Rack this weekend." That was an amazing find.  The shopping equivalent of summitting peak yadda yadda. What do get in return? Yeah. Blank stare.  I acted like his hobby was cool, why can't he return the favor?

Then there's passions guy.  He's always talking about how he's passionate about things and blah blah.  Maybe if he wasn't so passionate about riding his road bike he'd be 34 and married instead of 34 and single.  Yeah, I said it.  Well, he was always asking me, "what are your passions, what are your passions?"  My passion is you not asking me that at this particular moment.  So I told him what I care most about is my family and the Church.  "Noo, but what do you like to dooo."  So I gave him my stock answer.  Blank stare.  "You read? That's cool I guess."  What- now reading isn't a hobby?  

What these guys were looking for were answers that fit their perception of "hobby," which apparently only means something active that you do outdoors.  I admit my some of my hobbies are not very traditional, and maybe I only have a few, but I have good reasons.

Number 1. I'm fickle.  I know this about myself.  I have hobby ADD. I get really excited and spend lots of time and money, and then 'poof!' I'm bored.  For example,  I took up road biking a few years ago, and totally loved it.  So I bought a really nice, expensive bike thinking that it was a good investment.  Well, I've ridden that bike approximately 10 times. 

Number 2. I like being outside.  For a bit.  But long periods of time outside leads to discomfort such as mosquito bites, sunburn, or getting cold and/or dirty.  So lots of outdoor hobbies are out.

Number 3.  I like school (which is currently my job), so I don't really have this huge need for another outlet, besides just being around good friends.  And when I enjoy the company, it really doesn't matter what we do.

I may not have many hobbies, but what I do have are books to get lost in,  friends that I cherish, family that I love, and lots of cute clothes.  What else does a girl need?

3 comments:

The Draper's said...

I completely agree! I've been thinking about what my hobbies are lately too! I decided I don't need one, at least one like you don't need either!

Kimber said...

"...but then, I prefer heels to hiking boots."

My comment is random. I realize this. But I remembered you showing me your blog late one night in your room, on your bed, littered with magazines and 100 calories packs (this all happening after a successful girls night) and I remembered that I loved the way you wrote. I wanted to read more good writing and I was looking at your facebook, and there it was the link to your blog. So I read, and I still love your writing.

Miss your style, and the funny way you put the truth!!!!

xoxo Kimber

Nat's blog said...

holly i love your blog...i have had this same conversation numerous times with dates....and I fully agree that shopping, hanging out with family and friends, watching tv, reading, catching up on gossip mags, finding a killer deal shopping and even relaxing are FULL BLOWN hobbies! :)