Friday, June 19, 2009

Gee, thanks, feminists.

I recently had plans to go on a date with a guy.  Fortunately, before we met up, we had quite a long phone conversation.  The conversation veered to the topic of what each was looking for in a future spouse, as conversations with dates are apt to do.  Well, I can tell you this guy's list was, shall we say, comprehensive.  

He wants a woman who is a great cook, who keeps herself looking good (i.e. frequents the gym and dresses well), likes and wants kids, high sex drive, homemaker extraordinaire, frugal, spiritual, oh and he wanted someone who was willing to financially contribute, because why should the responsibility of providing lie solely on the man?  

A career driven, sex-crazed, hot to trot, betty-crocker-super-mom. 
If that's not the epitome of a paradox, I'm not sure what is.  Where does such a woman exist?  In the words of Elizabeth Bennett, "She would surely be a fearsome thing to behold."  

I blame the feminists for men's unrealistic expectations of what the women in their life should be, and for women everywhere feeling inadequate when they don't accomplish everything on the above-mentioned list.  Rosie the Rivter might as well be saying, "We can do it ALL."  But let me tell you, it's false advertising.  And it's too much to expect.  The problem with shouting for decades, "WE CAN DO IT!!," is that eventually society will call your bluff .  Well, I'm folding.  I don't want to do it all, at least not all at once.

What woman feels like having sex after a long day of the gym, getting her-self and the kids ready for the day, working, picking up kids, soccer practice, cooking dinner, homework, cleaning house.  
I want to be a great wife and mother, and I'm willing to put aside career aspirations when that time comes.  What better way can a woman contribute to the world than to raise happy, healthy, productive children, and supporting and caring for her man?  Scoff if you'd like, but my husband will love his life.
When I hear a man saying he wants a woman who can do it all, I don't appreciate his modern approach to gender roles.  I think... he must be one lazy SOB.

5 comments:

Joshua Bell said...

I think we guys need to have expectations of what we want in a spouse. However, I also think as an appendage to those "expectations," we need to understand that we can only ask as much as we are 1. Willing to give, and 2. Physically, emotionally, and spiritually ABLE to give.

I love the adage:

Keep your eyes wide open during courtship and half-closed after the wedding.

However, us guys must also remember some very poignant counsel of President Gordon B. Hinckley, who said that:
Even if there was a perfect girl out there...what makes you think she would want you
(Hahahahahahaha....I love that quote)

I just think we all need to do the absolute best we can, and the Lord will make up the rest. That includes helping us to love each other and be happy with our spouses/future spouses capabilities and potentials.

Holly said...

Totally agree with you...my point was only that instead of letting society pressure me into being some sort of super woman, I'll keep my priorities straight and focus on the things that matter in life. Those things are being a the best mom and wife I can be when that time comes. Things that are not so important can wait (i.e. worldly accolades for a successful career).

Brandon, Mandy and Benson said...

AMEN sister. Excellent post. Miss ya!

Joshua Bell said...

I agree with you as well. I hope that is the way that my post came across. I was merely addressing the comments of the guy that you were going to go on a date with.

lina19 said...

Holly, you are such a great writer and I absolutely agree with you. I am sooo busy running around trying to do everything at this point in my life, JUST TO KEEP UP with the 20somethings. I can't imagine when I have kids...or how I will fit in the therapy to my already packed day :)

LOVE YOU!