In defense of the gold digger

I have had some interesting conversations with members of the opposite sex while here in Provo. During these conversations various aspects of dating have been discussed. On one occasion I was told that guys my age (26) like to date the 19-20 year olds. Not only that, but they don't want to date girls my age. The reason? Girls my age have expectations and have had experiences. It seems that guys want to date someone who will not expect that they have a plan for their life, or a plan for how they will provide for a family. They don't want to date someone who may have more education then them or who has had more life experiences than them. Another conversation informed me that all a girl needs to be is "hot and sweet." Kinda like wings?



I've been told I have "so much going for me." But come to find out, that might not be a good thing. All I really need to do is work on my abs, maybe dumb it down a bit, and apparently that will make me every guys dream. What the crap am I doing in grad school?



It has also come to my attention that guys don't like it when girls have expectations regarding their income or chosen career path. They think that girls who do are gold diggers. I find this interesting given the above conversations. Guys want a hot girl. I don't have a problem with that. I guess I have a problem with the hypocrisy. If at the top of a guy's list is looks, then how can he have a problem with a girl wanting a successful guy? Both are fairly temporal, no?



I have a problem with being labeled a gold digger just because I am trying to find a good provider for my future family. I'm not really sure why a guy would resent a girl who was trying to find that. In my estimation, a real man would take pride in providing for a family, or in developing the skills that will allow him to do that. I'm not trying to sound down on dating or on guys, and even though I have had some horrible dates, I'm not jaded toward the process. But I'm starting to accept that fact that the marriage thing might not happen for me.